The sensation of being sensationless
I used to think that emotional numbness was one of the worst experiences in life. You walk around on emptiness, full well knowing that you’re not empty, but lacking the ability to discern any of “it.”
Now I’m not so sure. My gift-wrapped surprise from the universe remains, merely allowing its presence to sprawl. The sensation of not having physical sensation somehow seems to outstrip its emotional counterpart.
To have an itch (literal—not figurative) and not experience the pleasure of relieving it is confusing.
I want to thrive, not just survive
Sometimes we have no idea what to do with the things that life hands us before it says, “Deal with this.”
These things never come at the right time and more oft than not, these things are not of the positive persuasion. We’re expected to just take them on and figure everything out along the way—even if the little uninvited surprise is entirely unwanted, dreaded, and cried over. Sometimes these announcements even come with the condition that we must hurry up and wait for the rest of the information to arrive before we can act.
One of these little gift-wrapped boxes arrived a few days ago with my name on it and all I can do is wait. All I can say is that I used to think that emotional numbness was one of the most tragic things in life. Now I think physical numbness is a close, if not more terrifying rival.
The title of this post is a lyric from the upcoming Switchfoot album, Vice Verses.
